Truth From Ashes

A few years ago, a friend committed suicide.  It was well planned out.  His papers were in order and individual notes were left for ex-wife, son, daughter, and business partner.  Before pulling the trigger, he called the police and told them what he was about to do and where they could find him.

Shocking? Some of us might be tempted to say that he was selfish.  I don't; I think he was lost.  Unless you have lived in the darkest place and saw no value, no purpose, no point to your life, then you cannot understand what drove him to make this decision.  At some point, his mind fractured.  He was broken.

My friend made a decision to abandon his family and friends.  I still cry over this loss of life.  So many of us are fighting to live another day and he decided to stop fighting.  It is understandable that he would want to end the pain but it is incomprehensible that he could not see the pain he caused others.  He no longer took his thoughts captive.  He was blinded by the night.

Before this tragic end, he persisted in following a failed dream.  Slowly, he was poisoned by despair because his plans did not come to fruition.  Literally, his life was unraveling and he was facing prison time.  His life vision was distorted but he held it in high regard.  Oh, the energy he spent chasing the what could have beens.  

Was his life in vain?  No.  Even though he left a legacy of emptiness, truth can be formed from his ashes.  As we sift through what remains, we can find answers to our own despair.  All of us will face pain and failed dreams.  Most of us will not choose such an abrupt end but we may instead drift along without thinking.  It is its own type of death.

As I faced my loss of mobility and the resulting loss of dreams, I too faced choices.  At first, I was frustrated at how little I could do and how little I felt understood.  Over time, it occurred to me that I needed to examine my thoughts, challenge my mindset, and make decisions that provided a legacy worth leaving behind.  My struggles would serve a purpose beyond the vision I had for my life.  Each light and momentary tribulation would work a deeper truth within me and, as a result, carry the potential of life-giving gifts to those around me.

Hope keeps me going through my darkest struggles.  As I encounter challenges, I have the option to face my tribulation with faith.  In truth, the greatest moments are those where I have suffered with purpose.  For suffering produces patience, and patience character.  As character matures,  hope emerges.