Ready to Roll

Last night, i watched my 4 year old grandson on stage. It was grandparents' night at his preschool. What a delight to see all the children singing, playing instruments, and dancing (actually more akin to hopping and little girls swinging their dresses). Strong feelings washed over me: waves of delight, joy, and love. I wanted to hug each child and tell them how special they are.

The second part of the evening, we were invited to visit our grandchildren's classroom. Art projects were waiting to be viewed and sweets to be eaten. As I rolled into the refreshment area, I noticed one parent with three little children in tow. The eldest was probably 5 years old, the youngest was in his arms, and the middle child was sobbing. The dad looked frazzled: tired and worried, but not angry. He found a couch, put all three in a row, and dashed to the nearest display, grabbed some treats and handed them to his children.

Most of us can remember such events as we were growing up. Our parents sitting in an auditorium or visiting our classrooms. How different it felt to me when I was the child. It was a time of trepidation when it was my turn to be noticed. My mother had six children that spanned 13 years. With six children in tow, my mom's experience was akin to the dad with the three children. The reaction would have been different: my mom would have been angry. I learned to disappear.

Today, as I roll through the crowds I can no longer disappear. Children stare: I smile back. They are trying to process what they see. I am an anomoly. Adults carry their own experiences and apply them to me. It takes energy to deal with them. Even trying to just navigate from one side of the room to the other can be exhausting. Handicapped children are the best. They just come up and interact with me and my scooter. If they can ambulate, they manage to sit on my lap and are eager to ride around.

So, how does all this tie together? What doors are closed or should be? Which should be opened or are open? Everyday, we make choices. Everyday, I can choose to be like the adult: letting previous experiences define me. Or, I can choose to be like a child, especially the handicapped ones: open to the world and ready to roll.

Closed Doors

Closed doors:  they loom everywhere.  What coping mechanism can I use to effectively deal with all the closed doors? 

Closed doors: individuals who are not physically challenged see no obstacle.  Imagine: you stand outside a store, two doors before you, all you have to do is pull on one, just one, and entry is achieved.  But, wait:  you cannot pull on the door.  What options are available?  The easiest, a metal plate extended on a rail.  You look, hopeful.  There is none.  In fact, rarely do you encounter closed doors that have an extended metal plate.  Sometimes, you can find a button or plate mounted on the wall.  Even if there is a button, you need to reach - chancing a fall, and then move quickly out of the way of the door.  Most of the time, there is no button, no plate.  Another less desirable option: bang on the door.  Bang, knowing that the clerks are not positioned close to the door and will not hear you.  So, you must wait for someone to come by and open the door for you.

Closed doors: they need to converted into open doors - otherwise, I will go mad with frustration.  Opening a door to a brief encounter with the door opener.  Changing the situation to a two-sided exchange.  Finding a way that I can give them something in return: a kind word, a sincere thanks, a joke.

Closed doors need not stay closed.

Living in a Cage

Living with muscular dystrophy is akin to living in a cage.  It is as if am a bird whose wings have been clipped.  When I am seated, you may not notice my physical limitations.  Often, I hear the phrase, "You don't look sick."  It is true - until I try to get up and move.  Then, you will see the electric scooter and my struggle to move.

Every activity needs to be carefully considered before I embark on the journey of moving from one spot to another.  There are many elements that I need to take into my decision-making process; I need to count the cost of every action.  Taking a shower, for example, is so energy depleting that I need to take a nap afterwards.  Preparing my own meals is no longer feasible.  I dream of walking.

Opening Doors

I have decided to branch out and start including comment without artwork attached to each post.  The journey of creating an art piece take time to contemplate and execute.  Thus, too much time passes between each blog.

This is a decision to open another door to my life.

Hope in the Midst

 

Hope in the Midst

 

Hope in the midst of travail.  Everything around her is dark, except for the light that is emanating from her heart.  She refuses to be consumed by the oppression of her demons.  They seek to destroy, but she seeks to live.  Focusing on the light, she will make it through.  She has hope in the midst.

Trinity

TRINITY

 

Intense, burning love.  The spirit lives with complete expression.  Taking each heart, enveloping it - giving the soul what it needs.  Not providing the wants of life, for wants are subjective and fleeting - but providing the needs of life.  Each person needs love.  Love is the crucial ingredient of a satisfied life.  As each soul is loved, it then replicates that love.  How wonderful, how majestic!